Second Life – Finding Real Love in a Virtual World
Second Life, a virtual-reality world, provides a means for people to find real-life love. This essay will show how Second Life can serve as a match-making platform. Through the use of different technologies, two people can form a bond that is possibly stronger than that which is formed through "normal" methods of courtship. This essay will attempt to define what love is and how the bond is created between two people. Through the use of some real-world examples we will meet couples that have met online and are now in a real-life relationship.
It is important to understand what love is. Love is "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person (Dictionary, 2009)." The key concept this essay will focus on is the passionate affection that one person has for another. This Affection is not something that happens immediately. I believe that passionate affection for another person must grow over time. Many people believe in love at first sight, but what emotions are triggered at first sight? Would that fit the definition of love? Just seeing someone for the first time would not provide any means for affection, never-mind passionate affection. The idea of love at first sight is flawed because it is solely based on physical attraction. Our definition does not mention physical attraction as a core concept of love.
The passionate affection that love is made of is created by the emotions that two people feel for each other. The human mind has the ability to experience many different emotions. Some of these emotions are pleasurable and exciting, while others are uncomfortable and painful. It is this mix of emotions that help define who we are as individuals. These emotions are built into our character and make each one of us unique and identifiable. Our emotions and feelings are disconnected from our physical resemblance and are available in many different forms, allowing a connection to be made without ever meeting someone face to face.
What are you looking for when you say you want to find love? The answer to this question will probably vary from person to person, but there should be some common responses. Most likely, people will be looking for someone that makes them feel happy, or good about themselves. Someone who makes them laugh and feel comfortable. The person they can share their most intimate feelings with. An individual that listens to what you have to say, regardless of their thoughts on the subject.
The video clip that is provided below is a good example of one Second Life member showing their affection for another member. This individual created a clip of time they have spent together in Second Life. The clip shows their relationship progress to an online wedding. The two members’ relationship has spilled over into the real-world where they are boyfriend and girlfriend.
Second Life is a virtual reality role playing game in which each participant is represented by a customizable avatar. The avatar can be male or female and allows many modifications. It allows the owner to finely tune the small details about the look of the avatar. The avatar can be dressed in many different outfits or no outfit at all. It can be tall, short, skinny, or overweight. Given enough time, the user can create a digital representation of how they see themselves. The avatars are living in a world created by other users. There are night clubs, restaurants, beaches, universities, and just about anything you can imagine exists in Second Life. Users can communicate with each other in a couple of different ways. The ability to type messages is a convenient way to talk with different people in your surrounding area. The option to send private messages is also available, if you do not want to share your chat with avatars in your area. For a more personal experience, voice chat is available with the proper equipment. Voice chat requires that you have a microphone and speakers set up.
When you meet another person in Second Life, it is much like meeting someone in real-life. You may be involved in the same groups or hang out in the same locations. Maybe you have seen them a few times around the local hotspot. Like in real-life, some of this attraction may be based on physical appearance. Physical attraction is wired into our minds to help us find mates we are interested in, but recall that it does not fulfill the definition of love. This is just a means to open the gateway for an opportunity to find love. Watching another avatar, or seeing them around, can reveal a lot about a person. You can interpret their movements, their mannerisms. Some things may turn you off, just like in real-life. People have an idea of what their perfect match would be like. There is also a list of things the perfect match will not be like. Maybe you are looking for that rough and tough biker type, or the well dressed intellectual. These appearances are portrayed in Second Life by the user’s avatar.
The next thing we look for in a companion is an emotional connection. We want to find someone that is in sync with ourselves. Someone that shares the same ideals and makes us feel comfortable. Finding the emotional connection is a longer process than knowing whether or not you are physically attracted to someone or not. This phase requires spending time communicating with the other person. Talking to another avatar via the typed chat system in Second Life is a lot like using a normal chat room. Each user types their messages to each other. This form of communication is very important because it allows individuals to open up and express their true thoughts without being exposed physically in anyway. Chatting with someone that you have never met in real life, and probably don’t expect to ever meet, can allow you to open up and be completely honest. We have just seen how it helps you express yourself to the other person, what about how you receive them? Reading what someone else is typing is a very biased application of communication. Typed words do not have connotation and can be taken out of context. When you read the chat from another person, it always sounds how you want it to. Even if the other person is being sarcastic, shy, or negative, it doesn’t matter because it is all about how you receive it. You may read the text and get a completely different meaning than the user expected. This ability to interpret the text chats have a lot of effect on your emotions and can help build up feelings for the other person quickly. How can you not start to like someone when everything they say is how you want to hear it? This process helps build up a barrier for the time when you start talking by voice chat.
Voice chat adds another level to the relationship. The ability to hear another person’s voice and understand exactly what they mean in every sentence is very important. All the ideas that you have already developed about this person can either be validated or destroyed in voice chat. Maybe the person is a fast-talker, or has an accent that is a complete turn-off. Maybe they sound exactly how you imagined and it just enforced your already forming affections toward this individual. If you are lucky enough to still feel strongly for this person, talking with them on the phone or through voice chat can really move things along. You can share your stories, thoughts, feelings and so much more in a faster paced environment.
There is a very interesting blog called Seconde Life 2 Real Life Love that has a lot of information about couples that have carried their online relationships into the real-world. On the homepage of this blog, a picture of a mom and her a baby appears on the left hand side. The baby in that picture is the result of a Second Life relationship being successful in the real-world. The truly happy story of two people that most-likely would never have met without this platform, who are happily married and starting a family. Love, Digitally is an article on channelnewsasia.com that points out other real-world romances that started in Second Life. In an interview with one of the couples, they responded with: "We took about a month to build our Second Life house together and experiences such as that make it comparable to spending time together in real life (Supian, 2009)."
Meeting in an online world, through the many mediums mentioned throughout this essay show how an online romance progresses down the same path as a real-world one. There are two major differences. The first difference is that no boundaries exist, allowing people to meet with no geographic boundaries. You are no longer limited to finding love within a manageable distance. The second difference is related to physical appearance. Second Life provides a way for two individuals to get to know each other’s character, before pre-judging them on their appearance. Connections that might never be made when meeting in real life. With the appearance out of the way, overly shy people can be more outgoing and available to meet new people.
From meeting another avatar to building a home and getting married, Second Life provides a platform not much different than real-life. The ability to see the other person (in a digital representation), and communicate are the keys to successfully finding love in this not-so imaginary world. Spending time with another person with matching values will often lead to a growing affection. Whether it stops at a friendly relationship or continues into real-life and because something more, it is
